My mom did not work and I was a single-working parent. I am not going to even begin to imply that one is better than the other. I was lucky enough to be able to work part-time when my daughter was 8. Got to drop her off at school and be there for her at the end of her day. In between I worked 4 hours, ran a few errands and then had some free time with her after school. I know, I was lucky. But, years 2-8, I was working full-time and taking care of her by myself. Still lucky as I had only one child. I cannot imagine what it is like for parents with more than one kid.
But I I do know this: whichever way you decide to structure your family, I highly recommend the following:
1. Stop feeling guilty. If you are not feeling guilty I probably don’t believe you. If you are feeling guilty, try very hard to stop. There is no perfect parent, no perfect child, no perfect person.
2. Make sure you take some time for yourself. I know, this will likely trigger the guilt response but don’t let it! Happy parents make for happy kids and taking time for yourself (even 10 minutes after you walk in the door) will make you happier.
3. Be in charge of the household – not the child. It is pretty easy to let kids “win” but in the long-run, you will regret it (so will your kid, although they will never admit it).
4. Praise yourself for doing well and reflect on the times you don’t do well. Don’t beat yourself up or wallow – learn from it and move on.
5. Have fun. Having kids is supposed to be fun, right?
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