In the newsroom, we were recently invited to bike with politicians. Actually, it’s happened several times lately.
Though we won’t be attending said cycling event, these types of invites might some times spark conversations that lead to other odd conversations.
Today, for instance, a biking with politicians conversation turned into an idea for City Council meetings be held as roller derby matches (see below for how you can get in on the fun!). Legislation would be approved or denied based on a derby point system.
Then, it morphed into an idea on tax hikes. I’m hoping Tim Eyman will consider an initiative at the state level on this, too, but it’s simple: Any time the City Council would like to raise taxes, they have to play the Bellingham Roller Betties (technically there are four teams that are sort of part of this “league” now, I understand) in a flat-track roller derby match. If the council wins (let’s face it, unlikely), they get to raise your taxes.
And now, here’s the interactive part, dear blog comments: Roller derby athletes must have nicknames.
Locally, we’ve got Luna Tick, Helena Damnation, Danger Ally and Walker Texas Mangle’her.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is offer up the nicknames of our City Council members. Keep’em clean, please.
Never seen a match: Here are your Roller Betties, via YouTube:
June 9th, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Terry “Jason Bourne”-mann
Gene “The Knife” Knutson
Barry “The Butcher” Buchanan
Just off the top of my head…
Oh, and for the Mayor, Dan “Picante” Pike
June 9th, 2010 at 7:26 PM
In honor of his never ending quest for truth, justice and the non hypocritical American way I would have to bestow upon Mr. Bournemann a title worthy of the status he deserves for his sage wisdom and noble acts as our community’s conscience as well as a name to give a Bettie pause:
I give you Obi-Bourne Magnobli.
June 9th, 2010 at 7:32 PM
As a member of the Fairhaven clan of Hobbits of slight build, but righteous scruples, it is hard to cast a shadow of fear equal to a full on Bettie, so it is important to instill a modicum of fear in the doubt of any foe he confronts by the choice of a more sinister spectral name.
I give you Sith Fleetfoot.
June 9th, 2010 at 7:38 PM
Man, where’s liberty bell when you need him. He comes up with all sorts of interesting nicknames
June 9th, 2010 at 8:27 PM
While the myth of collaboration is always the facade politicians like to present, overly ambitious cooperation can be viewed as a sign of weakness and is unlikely to cause a Bettie to do much more than scoff.
But let them try and scoff at the likes of the implacable Barry Bu-Cantankerous.
June 9th, 2010 at 8:32 PM
You’re on a roll, Shaun! Keep’em coming.
June 9th, 2010 at 8:49 PM
Don’t let that smile that says I don’t feel comfortable smiling fool you. This jokester is red hot as one of the longest serving oxygenarians on the council and is presently serving as it’s fearless leader. After years in Cold Storage that could not even come close to cooling his passions, and a lot of weekends spent watching local football that probably came close to cooling his wife’s passions, this pigskinner will do a number on the nearest hapless Bettie and it won’t be just for the gipper.
I give you Knute the Brute.
June 9th, 2010 at 9:17 PM
Stepping into some mighty big but probably normal sized shoes, even though they were narrower and had heels, this man has the look, as evidenced by his Council photo, that says “I tie my own knot and I don’t starch my collar–you got a problem with that?” Which, like many of his statements (and some on the blog even) has foes saying “Oh, Snapp! No you didn’t”. This guy has a temperament and background that’s incendiary, and if you aren’t one of the good Betties you sure wouldn’t want this ex-first responder showing up at your door.
Introducing….Stan “I double dog dare you to call me Stanley” Snapp….. “that was the sound of your neck, Bettie Boop….do you need an adjustment?”
June 9th, 2010 at 9:32 PM
Born in a foreign country (has anyone seen his birth certificate) this ex-army brat has more degrees than a thermometer. A dead ringer for the Muffin King, if he got a trim, there is nothing Lilliputian about this Lilliquistian adventurer. Let’s hope, but not too hard, the year ahead will provide enough crisis and calamity to maintain this Gulliver’s attention.
Name shortened for that hard edge— I give you Mike “I’ve got 4 eyes so I can keep two on you” Lil’ Quest, scourge of the oval track.
June 9th, 2010 at 9:59 PM
Rounding out the testosteronic all male team, this gorilla’s photo screams “I’m too square to be at a roller Derby”, but his eyes say “bring it on Jane, err Bettie” This recycling Tarzan will leave you at the curb no deposit/no return and your pantyhose bunched tighter than a cluster of Cheetahs favorite fruits.
As anyone who knows him will tell you, as well as those who don’t know…. Jack “Johnny that” Weiss-muller is a terror on wheels.
June 9th, 2010 at 10:41 PM
And then there’s mon capitan. With a face that says “Howdie and lots of duties to go along with his boundless energy, this collaborator emerged from the Battle of the Dans to become our 20th Mayor, and he did it after only 25 years in town.
Now he has embarked on a, I guess, several lifetimes crusade to develop the waterfront so maybe our children’s children will get to follow our Hoverounds along as we experience how fast a community can come together for a bold initiative.
There is no containing this Earl of Duke ,or I guess Hahvard. So don’t even try girls. He may not be able to convince a fisherman to bus, airwaves pundits to unload their pants, or a dog to change his diction, but this Dan is no piker….
Dan “Spike that Bettie” Dan. Plan to be impressed…………….
June 10th, 2010 at 9:52 AM
[...] Check out all of the offerings from Ken and Shaun (including Jack “Johnny that” Weiss-muller and Dan “Picante” Pike), right here. [...]
June 10th, 2010 at 10:02 AM
It was fun and kept me out of trouble on the late night blog….Gracias…..
June 11th, 2010 at 11:04 AM
[...] The Bellingham Herlad has a solution to the potential tax hikes coming Bellingham’s way: City Council vs. the Bellingham Roller Betties. Count me in. [...]
June 20th, 2010 at 5:34 PM
Just remember their is no crying in roller derby…